Navigating Mixed Emotions: Joy and Grief After Loss

Grief isn’t tidy. Sometimes, even after profound loss, life brings moments of joy—laughter, new beginnings, or hopeful dreams. And those moments can come tangled with guilt, sadness, and fear. You might be expecting a new baby while still grieving the one you lost. Or maybe you find yourself smiling again, only to feel an ache in your chest right after.

This is the heart of what grief experts call “both-and” emotions: joy and sorrow, hope and pain. It’s not about replacing the loss or “moving on”—it’s about making room for everything you feel.

Many parents feel guilt when happiness surfaces. It’s important to remind yourself that healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Celebrating the present doesn't erase the past. In fact, your capacity for joy honors your resilience and your love for the one you lost.

Talking to someone—your partner, a friend, or therapist—can help you process the emotional contradictions. Saying the feelings out loud can reduce their intensity and help you feel less alone.

Anchoring rituals can also help. Carrying a small memento, journaling about your lost baby, or simply pausing each day to say their name keeps them in your heart without overshadowing the present.

There’s room for both love and loss. Both deserve your attention—and your grace.

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